Any time we have some sort of interior conversion, we can fall into the trap of seeing the same faults or defects we once likely had, in others. The old saying among smokers is, "there's nothing worse than an ex-smoker," holds true in other things too. In speaking of the problems of beginners, St. John of the Cross, discussing spiritual wrath points out in Chapter 5 in the first book of the Dark Night of the Soul:
2. There are other of these spiritual persons, again, who fall into another kind of spiritual wrath: this happens when they become irritated at the sins of others, and keep watch on those others with a sort of uneasy zeal. At times the impulse comes to them to reprove them angrily, and occasionally they go so far as to indulge it and set themselves up as masters of virtue. All this is contrary to spiritual meekness.
Fr. Perrone, a diocesan priest who himself is also a secular Carmelite, and chaplain to the community which meets at Grotto, spoke about something similar in last week's homily, which dealt with spiritual pride.
Being a "beginner" in the context used by the great Carmelite saints ought not be confused with book knowledge. There is a distinction between a catechetical or theological beginner, and a spiritual beginner. Even a theologian with advanced degrees can be in the stage of a spiritual beginner, and remain there until death.
Now, let's talk about "Happy-Clappy Catholics"
When I first began to take my faith seriously again in 2005 and got a better understanding of worship, I became strident about liturgical imperfections which became visible to me (a perfect example of what St. John describes above). I used offensive terms like, "Happy-Clappy Catholics" to describe others who hadn't yet crossed the liturgical divide. I'm not talking about the Traditional Latin Mass, but about the basics of Catholic worship in general - whether in the new Mass or the Usus Antiquior - everything from the music to posture and other behaviors while in church.I was at Mass at a parish other than my own a couple of years ago when I saw an altar boy, during the Eucharistic prayer, chuckling and looking back at his father, who was also chuckling, about a modest, "oops" by the organist just before the Sanctus. That was a turning point for me. Interiorly, I was spitting nails. It wasn't a momentary thing; it lasted up to Communion, and I think after. The disquiet was great. Suddenly, sadness and mercy entered my heart as I had flashbacks to my own behavior, partly stemming from ignorance, just a few years earlier. Only by the grace of God could I then bow my head and say: "Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do." I didn't fully understand it all yet and it would give me something to ponder for weeks, months, and still today. I do this any time I see such things now. I now understood that the boy and his father, like me, were products of an era where basic catechism focused on self-esteem, rather than teaching esteem for the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Our Lord. We were taught, even if only indirectly, that the Mass was a celebration of "us." I even pondered the priests in the lives of this chuckling father and son, and what kind of shoddy training those priests must have had in seminary, that they didn't give people a better appreciation for what was really happening in the Mass. Compassion and mercy flooded my heart for them too.
I have reverence before the Blessed Sacrament now only because of the gentle example of the priests, religious, and lay people of Assumption Grotto, as well as a noble corp of altar boys. You might find a strident person here and there, but most are not like that. All parishes have people with various flaws. Some people are wounded by the turbulent years following perverted interpretations of Vatican II. This was one point Fr. Perrone hit in that homily: None of us has a monopoly on pain in this regard. You can listen to his homily in the link I provided earlier, for context.
When those serving at the altar are well taught, people can learn from them. This is an area where priests can help - with attention to small details in what happens in the Sanctuary, before, during, and after Mass. I had never seen reverence before. My own transformation didn't happen because people ridiculed me, or because I happened upon a website which ridiculed people like me. In fact, I might have left the parish and never looked back had I encountered those things there. It was simply the silent witness of people who knew, intimately, that they were before Almighty God, that made me ponder the great Mystery. I now understand Mass is not a celebration of the life of Jesus; rather it is the re-presentation (hyphen added for emphasis) of the Sacrifice on Calvary.
Like many others, the Catholic culture of my youth, taught me that it would be "prideful" to stand out by genuflecting. The end result was no sign of reverence at all. This contributed to a deeper problem of not grasping interiorly, that in that Tabernacle was God - the same God before Whom Moses removed his sandals, and the same God before Whom the magi knelt in adoration when He became Man.
We have to take into consideration that people do not know, what they do not know. A child who spends 30 minutes in a coloring book, and goes outside of the lines, does not know of the imperfections in his work. For him, it's a work of art, and a thing of beauty. He treasures it so much he takes it to his mother and father, who display it proudly on the fridge or in an office cubicle.
I'm not suggesting we should be proud of, or "celebrate," illicit practices and bad behavior at Church; I'm suggesting we need to keep things in context - that people were not just poorly catechized on the faith; they were poorly taught about worship for the better part of 50 years. For many, it is all they have known since birth.
I have found that some of the most defensive people are simply passionate because they were taught this way by others who have not been taught well. There was no internet for people to see what Vatican II said; errors spread by word of mouth and became embedded for decades. We can't judge the people of yesterday by what is so readily available to us today. Using stridency and joking at the expense of these people is far from virtuous, and quite God-displeasing because it shows an utter lack of charity. I'm not talking about militant dissidents, but ordinary Catholics in the pew who probably don't even know a dissident from a faithful Catholic.
The "great" experiment is over. The Church, from Pope Benedict to a growing number of bishops and priests, are beginning to teach the right things. Some will be resistant because people are naturally resistant to change. Rapid change now is as cruel to the ignorant today, as rapid change was to those who knew better than the "change-masters" 50 years ago. Some clerics themselves are still learning, and even unlearning things they were taught in seminaries run amok. I have personally witnessed this transformation in people where I didn't think it was possible. Shame on me for thinking *I* was the primary driver of winning hearts, as opposed to God. We can do more good by being patient witnesses, giving people room and time to learn, and to make mistakes or not learn everything all on the same day. There is no need for foaming at the mouth when they go outside the lines.
I learned quickly only by the grace of God; but, for others it's a very incremental process that can take years, and for still others, it may never happen. The spiritual life can grow like individual stocks in the NYSE - a rise, then a pull-back, before another rise, over and again. Just like some stocks rise and go down, so can spiritual development. Some crash. Sometimes external factors are behind pull-backs other times it's internal. Book knowledge is not the same as spiritual knowledge, so the most book-smart Catholics can be spiritually immature.
I abandoned the strident approach to dealing with these things knowing that it is largely ineffective. I found it pushed people away from wanting to have the discussions with me. My own discernment of the practice led me to believe it can not only be venially sinful (various forms of spiritual pride are involved), but can lead to grave sin. Some get so angry, they won't go to Mass, or they engage in rash judgment, detraction and calumny (ccc 2477-78).
Calling people names like "Happy-Clappy Catholics" is not only childish and sophomoric; it does nothing to build the Body of Christ. It builds walls where we should be building bridges. It is just one more way to yield to concupiscence which would rather have fun at the expense of others. How much more it offends God when we lead others to join in the fun.
Venting and joking about others, "not in the know" may feel good, but I don't think you will find any of the great spiritual masters encouraging it. If you want to do something helpful, go before the Blessed Sacrament, or someplace quiet and lay your pain on God's shoulders. He can handle the weight and all risk of crossing into sinful anger is gone. Fr. Perrone told me early on when I could not get to Adoration, to close my eyes and put my mind's eye before the Tabernacle closest to me at a given moment, even if it is a few miles way. What we have to understand is that some things are so big that we cannot force change with our words; but, God can change things with our humble petitions. It doesn't come, "on demand,"; it comes on God's time. We may not get to live long enough to see certain changes. That's okay. Just keep working.
Confessions are heard at Assumption Grotto on Saturdays between 2:30 and 3:30, and before the 9:30 AM and Noon Sunday Masses. They are often heard outside of posted hours before the 7:30 AM and 7:00 PM weeknight Masses. All others, check your local schedule.
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Note: This post was edited on Feb 7 at 11:30 for grammar and other fixes. The Confession note was also added after I read a comment.
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37 comments:
Thank you! I run between being charitable and "spitting nails". I tend to be charitable when I see lay faithful doing things that aren't prescribed (ie holding hands during the Our Father.) Someone told them it was the thing to do and it feels nice, so it sticks around.
I spit nails though, when I see priests and deacons doing things that are not appropriate. The deacon at my parish seems to think his job is comic relief. He gives a thumbs up to people in the pews during the sign of peace (and continuing into the Agnus Dei.) Any part of the Mass that he is required to speak (the gospel, the sign of peace, the dismissal) he ad libs.
He was ordained in 2008, well past the time of the "great experiment". I know a few other deacons from his class and they are very reverent, so in this case, is it willful? Maybe.
However in the end, what I need to do is make sure that I am praying for the faithful, that they learn more about their faith. We thankfully, have a new pastor who is trying to work through 6 years (if not more) of horrible liturgical practices and a blatant lack of catechisis for the faithful.
"There are other of these spiritual persons, again, who fall into another kind of spiritual wrath: this happens when they become irritated at the sins of others,"
http://www.drbo.org/x/d?b=drb&bk=47&ch=21&l=12#x
"[12] And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the money changers, and the chairs of them that sold doves: [Matthew 21:12] [Latin] [13] And he saith to them: It is written, My house shall be called the house of prayer; but you have made it a den of thieves."
There is such a thing rightous anger. It is charity to admonish (first privately) sinners. And remember Meekness does not mean weakness. Meakness is power under control.
I knew someone would bring up Jesus turning tables in the temple.
I need to do a deep dive in to that topic, which can easily be made into a post itself.
Too many people quote this as justification to engage bad behavior.
That said, let's suspend discussion of that for this thread, and I will provide an opportunity to discuss it more thoroughly in a thread of it's own. I can't promise it will be this week, as I have much work to do around my house. I'd like to try though, given that many go offline for Lent, which is coming up fast.
Agreed, but as with the case of "love the sinner, hate the sin", one shouldn't ridicule "Happy-Clappy Catholics", but we should decry Happy-Clappy Masses.
Beyond a vague sense that we're honoring God and receiving special bread (which is "symbolic" or only "blessed bread" in the eyes of many poorly catechized Catholics), the average Catholic has little idea about what's going on in the mass or even what a mass is. If they did, they wouldn't find it to be boring or pointless any more than being in the presense of their spouse or child. But it can be done. Devin Rose, for instance went fairly quickly from supporting praise and worship services (albeit outside mass to spice things up) to being stongly in favour of reverent liturgies. All that was needed was the right understanding of the mass:
(Before) http://www.devinrose.heroicvirtuecreations.com/blog/2011/12/15/time-for-catholic-praise-and-worship/
(After) http://www.devinrose.heroicvirtuecreations.com/blog/2012/01/03/adversus-catholic-praise-and-worship/
The three pictures in adversus-catholic-praise-and-worship clearly explain why praise and worship is wrong for the mass, especially if one combines the photos: priests sacrificing at the foot of the cross while a rock praise and worship service is going on.
For the record, I was in a similar boat as you were until I realized that by judging the priest or others around me, I was bringing an impure sacrifice before our lord and adding my own disgrace to the mass because I SHOULD KNOW BETTER. From that point in, I closed my eyes during prayers with rubrics that were ignored or other abuses and simply offered God the worship that was due. Oddly enough, I noticed the more referent my worship, the more others would offer reverent worship. Just an example, there was a statue of the pieta in the Church that was mostly ignored. During the sorrowful mysteries, I'd kneel in front of it and before I go, I offer prayers holding the foot of Jesus and then the foot of Mary. I've found that others have since become less shy around the statues and have emulated that behaviour. This Christmas, I was pleasantly surprised to discover people kneeling before the nativity. The average Catholic wants to be faithful...they just need to be taught (or reminded) how to do it.
I too have sensed the total peril of stridency more and more lately in my life.
As an aside, when pondering my own stridency I do not equate stridency with the cliche of phariseeism that is often thrown in one's face, because I have come to realize that the pharisees were simply people, us, who were trying, post-Babylon, to live the Law and please God in the best way they knew, with rigor and vigor that simply got them off the track of the two great commandments of the Old Testament (oh yes they are there!), which Christ restated -- restated, not deployed unprecedentedly. I know they made fools of themselves in the Gospels, but I think our Lord understood them to be blind and pardoned them in His heart. As He does with all generations before and since.
But about the following quote in this post:
"Interiorly, I was spitting nails. The disquiet was great. Suddenly, sadness and mercy entered my heart as I had flashbacks to my own behavior, partly stemming from ignorance, just a few years earlier. Only by the grace of God could I then bow my head and say: "Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do.""
I relate to this very much and this is what I think when I experience this while in the pews:
First, the wrath I feel is the vice presided over by satan himself. The disquiet is presided over by belial, who sows the confusion that is the hallmark of the presence of his master and his legion. Do I really want to play with those two? Here, now? Ever, anywhere?
Second: while echoing the words of our Lord on the Cross is superb, I realize that I need to say, instead, "Forgive me, Lord, for I am a foolish and hardhearted sinner, and I have so greatly offended You before coming into this Mass and even now I offend You while standing here within the context of Your Mass, astonishingly!"
On her prie-Deiu, St. Teresa of Avila had written from the Psalm 142:
et non intres in iudicio cum servo tuo quia non iustificabitur in conspectu tuo omnis vivens
Yes, the "great" experiment is over. Thank God that the Hippie Church error will not have lasted as long as some other dark periods in the Church's history. But my generation is grown, raising families, and aware of the priceless spiritual inheritance which has been denied us by our boomer parents.
We will not commit the same sins against our own children.
Philokalos
my question would be, "Is it possible that YOU are the one who knows not what you do?"
When Mary Magdalene annointed Jesus with expensive perfume and dried his feet with her hair, it was the men who knew Jesus heart the best that ridiculed her. Telling her what she should have done with the expensive perfume. "THEY" knew the best way to worship Jesus. But Jesus rebuked them.
The altar boy who chuckled-I don't know the circumstance. maybe the organist was his mother, who prayed a pray on the way to church "Lord please don't let me mess up again today." Maybe not who knows?
There's a little boy at our church with touret's syndrome. occasionally he blurts words out at in opportune times. sometimes the words that get blurted out are "less than ideal" for mass. Everybody in our parish including the priest knows him and let's it go because he can't control it. I'm sure an out-of-town mass perfectionist would spit nails at the situation. But we love him and his family to death. And we're happy to have him at mass.
My personal opinion is perfectionism is one of the downfalls of man.
bj
A good and necessary reminder to approach teachable moments with humility and charity. Thank you!
I have the opportunity on a daily basis to catechize others regarding an appreciation of the sense of the sacred and appropriate ways to conduct oneself at public worship. I serve at daily Mass (OF) four days a week. On Sundays, I sing at an EF Mass. The altar servers at the EF Liturgy teach me humility, charity and the beauty of serving with grace and artfulness. Their joy and appreciation for the opportunity to serve is an example which speaks volumes to me.
First Anonymous comment signed, "Philokalos":
I think I sufficiently pointed out there were problems. I'm only publishing your post to serve as an example of what a polemic argument looks like.
I'll be glad to post comments that are not polemical, even those who disagree with me. Otherwise, is rather hit the delete button than to allow the thread to descend into nothing more than commiseration over everything that's wrong.
2nd Anonymous, "bj"
I wasn't out of town. I was at a parish very familiar to me. And, the boy (in his late teens at the time), does not have Tourette's our any other such disorder.
We are not permitted to judge the state of someone's soul. Only God can read hearts. But we are permitted to make judgements based on objective facts and behaviors. If a man is relieving his bladder openly into the street, it's perfectly fine to judge that he is doing something out of place, without judging the state of his mind or his soul. The two people were chuckling for a prolonged period of time ( thru the Eucharistic prayer and I think even after Communion). It was a serious distraction.
What you sadly seemed to have missed was the point I made which is not to get angry about such things. It's unfortunate that their Mass time was lost to whatever humored them, and that others were deprived of a prayerful atmosphere, but the fact that they were unaware is what was saddening. This I attributed to a lack of understanding and knowledge, rather than rashly presuming they intended to cause problems.
I didn't miss the point. and my post wasn't really directed at you so much as people in general.
It really seems to me that I hear Catholics complaining about how other Catholics celebrate the mass more now than ever. I'm sick of it and wonder sometime why I even visit Catholic blogs.
people complaining about music styles, mass etiquette, posture, who bows at the waist and who bows at the neck, who genuflected with their left knee and who with their right, how some stranger wanted to hold their hand and some other person refused. It's ridiculous! praise God, with all your heart, with all your soul and all your strength!
And love people right where they are in life. when we come together at mass we come as infants and elderly and everything in between and at mass there are spiritual infants and spiritual elderly regardless of their physical age. Love them where they are.
I understand what you are saying in this blog. But I also understand that even in your attempt to try and not become angry at the altar boy. You clearly think that you are better than that altar boy, and his Father. I would just be so blunt as to say, Your not! your different, you are a wonderful child of God. and precious in his eyes, but your not better than them.
bj
Is this magnanimity, to make ostentation of indulgence for the purpose of advertising power?
Of course there is righteous anger, and Jesus exhibited it. He is God. I am not. He knows the difference. I am sinful and a slave to my passions - I do not.
We cannot possible use God's righteous anger as an excuse for our own anger. Let's instead use His virtues, by His grace, and be an example of His Love and Patience.
Thank you for this wonderful article, BTW.
This article brings me great joy. It also makes me examine my own personal stridency, joking and ridicule directed at, what I perceive to be, militant dissidents on either side of the coin. Most likely, through pride, I do more damage than good, to them, and myself.
I think I am grasping what you are saying. I want to say, though, that I do not entirely agree. Sometimes a little force is necessary to crack the nut, to open up things to the light of Christ.
That is what I think the prophet Jeremiah and others are are doing pointing out the sins of the nation!
Bruno.
"Rapid change now is as cruel to the ignorant today, as rapid change was to those who knew better than the "change-masters" 50 years ago."
But the difference is the nature of the changes. If there were a rapid change back to the Latin Mass it would be hugely beneficial in itself. The changes 50 years ago were destructive in themselves and not because they were implemented quickly. Which is why they are being walked back and reformed.
Dan
CASALIBUS HERMIT, how and when do you propose to use force? Would you interrupt the mass and start yelling something like "Woe to you stiffnecked idolators. Repent and worship since the axe is a the root."?
I wouldn't recommend that. As I've stated above (I was guilty of this), by focusing on the obviously guilty during mass, *you* yourself are guilty of placing disdain for man over the holy sacrifice of the mass. And perhaps you're more guilty since you know better about what's required in mass...they might not.
Of course, one cannot ignore the problem, but it requires more than force. In my experience, some people only need an example of reverence to become reverent themselves...since they condemn themselves. Others are too timid to be reverent (appearing to be stuck up) unless they see that they are not alone. Others, don't know enough about the sacrifice of the mass to know that there is a being casual is a sacrilege (since "Jesus is your buddy and you're casual with your best buddies"). Many others don't know enough about the sacrifice of the mass and believe what Protestants believe about their services. Each case needs to be dealt with differently. Ideally the priest should be able to deal with all these cases, but in practice the priest might even fall into one of the above categories (especially the timidity case) or simply be too overwhelmed to attempt changing things for the better.
Regardless, it should be obvious that each of us can do something to remedy the situation in each of the above cases.
Too long, preening, and dismissive - just like those she purports to tag. Nonsense.
"Like many others, the Catholic culture of my youth, taught me that it would be "prideful" to stand out by genuflecting."
I know! I hid everything. I rolled up my rosary in my hand so no one could see it. I did the stations of the cross mentally from my place in church. I felt so guilty about it - but I didn't want to appear prideful or holier than thou.
Thank you!
I must agree with BJ. First and foremost, Mass should not be a place to judge the worship of others. Rather, it is a place to strengthen our own prayer life. I cannot help but think your preoccupation with this altar server's behavior has distracted you from your own mindful devotion.
Not everyone is capable of such mindful reflection as yourself. Prayer takes practice. I, myself, was once that altar server, who catching shared glances of friends and family members may have cracked a smile from some liturgical faux pas, even if during the solemnest part of the Mass. While I may not have always been the model altar server, I would like to think that my time spent as one aided in my spiritual development.
We ought to heed JC's words, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."
That we are distracted by the behaviors of others in Mass seems to only highlight our own shortcomings in worship: babies crying, young children climbing over the pews, the man who arrives 20 minutes late in the middle of the Gospel, or the woman who hurriedly leaves after receiving Communion. Would it be better that they not be there at all, so that I may worship as I think necessary? No, I should be thankful that they are present, though imperfect, joined together with me in a community of prayer.
-Kerplunk
I clicked over here from New Advent, and just wanted to say something.
For human beings, prolonged giggling at inappropriate times is something that just happens. It's not usually malicious. And seeing a family member trying to stifle such laughter while attempting to stifle one's own can sometimes make the stifling much harder.
I still remember the time a deacon solemnly informed us during a Gospel reading that the wise men presented Jesus with gifts of gold, Frankenstein, and myrrh. I was biting my lip and twisting my hands for several moments trying not to laugh out loud (and it was funnier because he didn't realize his mistake and half the congregation was in much the same sad state that I was). Maybe there are some people who have such total control of their mirth that they wouldn't even have committed the liturgical atrocity of a tight-lipped smile, but I don't know any such people.
bj,
According to your line of reasoning, could one ever be in a sufficient position to identify and condemn another's behavior as irreverent? Or is that, due to utterly subjective variation, always practically impossible? If impossible, ought we drop all behavioral rules and expectations before the sacred?
Post clarified by adding the following text (shown in bold below). Some may have gotten the impression that this was a momentary thing. It was not. I myself have spontaneously erupted into laughter and have had difficulty containing myself, but these two were literally prolonging one another's laughing. The way the Church was designed, the altar boy - a teen - had to turn all the way around to make eye-contact with his father. This happened many times throughout the Eucharistic Prayer when there is normally stillness due to the sacredness of the moment.
Here is how I modified my post.
************************ BEGIN QUOTE
I was at Mass at a parish other than my own a couple of years ago when I saw an altar boy, during the Eucharistic prayer, chuckling and looking back at his father, who was also chuckling, about a modest, "oops" by the organist just before the Sanctus. That was a turning point for me. Interiorly, I was spitting nails. It wasn't a momentary thing; it lasted up to Communion, and I think after. The disquiet was great. Suddenly, sadness and mercy entered my heart as I had flashbacks to my own behavior, partly stemming from ignorance, just a few years earlier.
******************* END QUOTE
In Spiration,
yes absolutely! if you are the parent of a child. It's your responsibility to teach and instill reverence.
If your the pastor of a parent it's your job to instruct them how to teach and instill their children.
but, just me personally, I try to stay out of the business of condemning others. If I was to condemn you right now for your attitude toward others. would that change your attitude toward others. or simply change your attitude towards me. You see, I have no authority. I'm just a child of God, a sinner, a mess really.
but even in my sinful state, I can lift people up. I can share my experiences, my passion, my joy. My unending love for Christ and the Eucharist. I can share what the Eucharistic prayer means to me, how in AWE, I am at what Christ did for me. And how, for me, that is the most reverent time of the mass. How I love it!
Maybe that will make a difference in their lives. It may not, only God knows. And I'm content to do my part to witness on God's behalf. But as far as condemning other paritioners goes, it's not my job.
bj
who do you want to be:
Luke 18:
9 And to some who trusted in themselves as just and despised others, he spoke also this parable: 10 Two men went up into the temple to pray: the one a Pharisee and the other a publican. 11 The Pharisee standing, prayed thus with himself: O God, I give you thanks that I am not as the rest of men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, as also is this publican. 12 I fast twice in a week: I give tithes of all that I possess. 13 And the publican, standing afar off, would not so much as lift up his eyes towards heaven; but struck his breast, saying: O God, be merciful to me a sinner. 14 I say to you, this man went down into his house justified rather than the other: because every one that exalts himself shall be humbled: and he that humbles himself shall be exalted.
15 And they brought unto him also infants, that he might touch them. Which when the disciples saw, they rebuked them. 16 But Jesus, calling them together, said: Suffer children to come to me and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God. 17 Amen, I say to you: Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a child shall not enter into it.
bj
Sadly, as people focus on my admitting to being distracted by something objectively irreverent happening in the sanctuary for a prolonged period of time, the larger issue has been missed.
The post was aimed at calling attention to the imprudence of using condescending ridicule of other Catholics as the Church attempts to bring about reform (i.e., like broad-sweeping other Catholics as "Happy-Clappy" if they, in their worship, don't pass some litmus test).
But, if some want to make the discussion about how Pharasaical they believe me to be in sharing the fact that I was distracted, that's fine. However, you might ponder that how it may float both ways. It takes some form of judgment to accuse another of being judgmental. Often, those who label others as judgmental do not comprehend the difference between judging an something visible and objective, versus judging hearts. "Judge not" refers to judging other souls. That's not me interpreting it, but what the Church teaches.
I find it ironic that the argument was made how human it is for people to laugh spontaneously (even though the boy - in his late teens - and his father, were literally goofing around throughout the Eucharistic Prayer); but no allowance is made for the very human reaction to be distracted by something objectively irreverent happening in the Sanctuary during a very solemn period.
Perhaps I'm the one who is really disoriented, I dunno.
So, feel free to continue discussion of my initial anger without giving consideration to my change of heart and the much larger issue of basically calling for people to be more respectful towards others.
I've got thick skin, personally. I could let it run without concern. It would be nice though, to hear what people think about making fun of other Catholics in the pew as a means to supposedly drive change. As I stated in my post, I think it drives people the other way and is largely ineffective. You might win one or two, but applying the virtues can win so many more. Grace does not accompany mocking and ridicule. It does accompny even the most sloppily applied attempts at exercising virtue though.
Carry on.
And, by the way, unlike those who look around at others while they are in the pew, this altar boy and his father were placed within eye-shot of 2/3 of the congregation - if they had their eye on the altar. The slightest movement when there is near total stillness would distract a saint.
I'm just sayin'
Thank you Diane, as I think I really needed to hear this. I wish I could regain every Mass or Holy Hour I squandered by "spitting nails" over something that in all likelihood was of no consequence to Our Lord. I've taken to sitting where I am the least likely to see or hear anything that might prompt me to be judgmental or less than patient. I think the best way to bring others along is by quiet example, perhaps by a profound bow at the words of the consecration, or by a humble and pious demeanor when returning to the pew from Holy Communion. A quiet but pleasant reverence, for lack of a better way to describe, might go much further in having others reflect on their own behavior than all the ridicule and sneering ever could. God bless.
Jeering at other people, being critical, calling names ("Happy-clappy")...this seldom has a good result. It antagonizes people, and too clearly sends the message that you think you are better than everyone else.
Even if we are right, being self-righteous is never appropriate. We would do better to think about our own sins than the sins, real or imagined, of other people.
I'm a different Susan than the one above.
I absolutely agree with your main point. The mind and soul can be corrupted by negativity or what I call the "adversarial spirit". Having said that, in the 1970s, if some kind person had told me my actions were inappropriate in Mass, or that certain liturgical ideas I held when working in children's liturgies were disrespectful, I would have listened and pondered and repented sooner than I did.
I think the problem has been the lack of good guidance and teaching. But then, that means that people must be open to suggestions, does it not?
Judgement is not the same as teaching. When I taught college debate, it was my duty to point out fallacious thinking on the debate teams and help the students learn logic.
I do not see any difference in that approach when fellow lay persons. If one is humble, that is the beginning of sharing the real deal.
However, there is another problem which you did not address in this good article and that is sin.
Some of the abuses are sinful. These we do have a duty to speak out about and hopefully change. Severe abuses are against the First Commandment.
An example of this was a girl reading from the pulpit in nothing but those sweater tights and a non-skirts which reveal bottoms in tight, in Ireland last year. Totally inappropriate for the altar. The priest was not open to speaking about it.
Or, if there is an obvious abuse one can address with sweetness and light, that can be done. I did this in Ireland in December. A certain Carmelite priest refuses to use the new translation. I questioned him gently and found out that he hates the new translation and has no intention of changing. That needs to be taken further. There was a parish in Kent doing something similar last year. I brought this to the attention of the good priest and he changed the problem.
I think if we can step in and change something we should, and yes, that is different than judging the individuals involved.
Supertradmum,
I agree with your main points.
Thank you for your contribution to the discussion. It sparked some additional thoughts for me.
Some think that if you suggest not using stridency, especially in a broad way (like birdshot), that you are saying we shouldn't confront problems. Not so.
I've said often, and continue to propose that it is not what we say, but how we say it.
I would say that with a priest who refuses to use the new translation, the first step is to speak directly with him - kindly. It sounds like this was done. For me, the next step would be to contact the local bishop - kindly, and without an angry or malicious tone. Such letters tend to detract from the real message. Since you taught debate, you are well aware of this. Some, when they write the bishop, "vent." If you can't force someone to act, the best thing to do is use reason, then pray they make the right choice. If, after 2 months, nothing is heard back from the bishop, or a dissatisfactory response is received, there is still the option of forwarding those communications - kindly, to the CDW. Here again, all one can do is pray that the matter is resolved and leave it in God's hands. What happens is, as a first recourse, some are going right to the internet with their complaint. If I happened to inadvertently capture liturgical abuse on video, the first stop after discussing the matter with the priest in question, would be to send it to the bishop, then the CDW as described above. I don't think many consider they may actually be committing an act of detraction by exposing someone's faults or sins before the world, especially as a first recourse to dealing with the problem. Few understand detraction (CCC 2477-78).
With your background, you may know more than me, and I'm not sure what the case is in Ireland, but I think part of the problem is the loss of solid, classical courses in school. Good philosophy (not this marxist stuff they try to pass off), coupled with coursework in rhetoric, and logic would help a great deal. I believe the stridency we see, not just in some segments of the Catholic sphere, but in secular society, comes from the inability to use reason and logic. That void leads to obscenities for some, and confrontational tactics right out of the shoot, for others. There is no first step of trying to use persuasion.
In other words, we do not know how to argue effectively. If we did, we wouldn't resort to simply labeling others as "Happy Catholics", or "Neo-Con" and "Rad-Trad" for that matter. It may feel good to say these things, as a way to vent, but as I point out, it only serves to satisfy concupiscence.
Diane, my favorite subject to teach was HOW to think. I taught Socratic Method classical ed for years and am a classical ed curriculum specialist. You have touched my teacher heart. Too bad we cannot have a longer chat over chai, but we are not on the same continent.....from cell.
I've accumulated some books on the subject, but need to make changes to my daily schedule to spend time with them. I've got Dr. Peter Kreeft's "Socratic Logic" staring at me and I've not started it yet. Let's exchange emails. When I start, I may have questions. I'm going to reduce social media time to get in more reading over Lent. I'll try to start it. My blog email is in my profile.
I'm sure you saw this, but if not, it's promising: http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/classical-education-enlivens-denver-catholic-school/
Diane, you might find the discussion on Fr. Z and Ray Blake's blogs on the subject of sin in abusive Masses
Diane , One of my children teaches at the school that you linked to in the CNA. It's wonderful and they love it.
As a convert in the early 80's I didn't receive the greatest catechism but thankfully my husband was able to teach me. He saw and understood many more of the changes than I did at that time. He was way more bothered by it and more likely to say happy-clappy at the same time we were gently pushing kids down to kneel and telling them to get out from under the pew and don't pull your sister's hair.
It's only now that I'm older and I see things changing back to the beauty that the church must have been before the changes that the little things are beginning to bother me. It's my fault, not the other people. I'm an adult and should be able to be at Mass for an hour without getting bent out of shape. But it's hard!
I've tried closing my eyes which works for awhile but then I am again distracted by the adult chewing gum during the consecration or the teenagers talking and giggling a few rows to my side. One day I saw a woman wearing a beautiful veil and I started reading about them. I thought they were banned, but they aren't. I thought maybe if I wore one my eyes would be more apt to be on the Altar. So I ordered one and I love wearing it. Such a beautiful way to stand or kneel before our Lord, my head covered, and receive him in the Eucharist. And I am less distracted by the things going on around me. Yes, I get looks and even questions but I just explain I'm honoring my Lord by veiling my head in His presence. There isn't much else they can say. And maybe, just maybe I am a witness to another woman who has considered putting her veil back on.
Thank you for the post. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one distracted by the little things. God Bless! CatholicMom
Thank you for writing this. I found it very helpful. You have distilled the many varied thoughts running about in my head on this topic.
I'm so sorry that so many people seem to have read this post without getting that you were not advocating that we sit in Mass silently judging altar boys. I took away the exact opposite lesson from reading it.
After pretty much the exact same thing happened in the comments of my very first blog post, some one recommended an eloquent post by Fr. Ryan Erlenbush that really puts our inclination to judge others in perspective.
Keep up the good work!
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